Jan 15, 2013

Blind Dating.........With an Exit Strategy

Whether speed dating, blind dating, or meeting someone [in person] for the first time as a result of a social media match, will you be polite and courteous no matter the outcome?

So you have found your true match on a social network site for singles.  All of the stars are aligned.  The new possibilities for a relationship are endless.  You both love "red" wine, the Louvre, and BLTs with real mayonnaise. Intimate details of past relationships and future dinner parties with your best friends have required an upgrade to a friends and family data plan.      

The arrangements are finally made.  You arrive for this exciting encounter and timidly glance across the crowded room.  Have you been stood up?  As you continue to browse the room looking for your soul mate, the person of your dreams has yet to step through the door.  Or have they?

Unfortunately, both of you arrived 10 minutes ago but no one in the room remotely resembles preconceived notions of your imaginary lover.  Then it hits you.  The guy peering nervously around the room is your date.  How can that be?  He described himself as tall in stature, current in style, and extremely confident. 

OK, so he's 5'4, sporting a detachable insert (Dickie) around his neck and sweating profusely.  Does that matter?  OK, now reality and the churning of the stomach.  As you frantically think of an exit strategy you contemplate enduring the interaction and dismiss any thoughts of escape.  Can you endure a polite conversation, have a glass of wine and be honest?  This is exactly what you SHOULD DO...Instead.

Dating nightmares have made it into late night monologues, sitcoms, and general chatter among friends; all at the expense of your date.  Even worse, the tales of how people escaped as fast as possible with no concern for how absurd the excuse and lie.  

There's still hope for you to make the best of a bad situation, be polite, courteous, and remember this is a person with feelings and some confidence.  Ask yourself, what would you do?  Be honest, share dinner, and simply explain that you aren't interested?  Why do so many make up bizarre excuses?  

Here are exit strategies that you should NOT use:

1) Have your room mate text, call, or show up explaining that your cat ate your contraceptive and you are needed at the Veterinarian's office immediately.
2) Explain how fortunate it is that your fiance' has decided not to cancel the wedding.
3) Your mother, father, sister, brother or 1st, 2nd, or 3rd cousin made the 6:00 o'clock news report as missing.
4) Your residency has been accepted in Helsinki and your flight departs in an hour. 
5) You have an infection due to your recent vasectomy.
6) Your ankle bracelet fell off between your home and the restaurant and the authorities may arrive any minute unless  you dash back home.
7) It's not you, it's me.
8) You have to return to the PETA rally immediately.

Stay, be polite and find something in common.  You never know if the person across from you will appear in your boardroom, administer your child's SAT test, or be responsible for approving you for that fabulous Co-Op when the other residents object.


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